I read this interview last week which was posted on Brenton’s Aussielicious blog. I found it quite interesting and I think it might create some interesting comments.
Mr S is a bisexual married man who’s been a reader of Aussielicious for a couple of years now. He was kind enough to take part in this interview for you all to hear about being bisexual and married. Bisexuality is a hot topic among gay people, often doubting it’s true existence. Here’s a man who is adamant it exists.
How old are you? I am 27 years old.
Have you always considered yourself Bi? No. Up until I went to university, I considered myself straight. Yes, as part of playing sports there was some always a lot of banter and goofing around, but I had never given thought to actual sex with a man until later.
What would you estimate the gender ratio of sexual partners has been over the years? Okay, I was kind of a man-slut in my HS and college days, so I would say the gender ratio was about 100-7 over the years, in favor of women.
How long have you been married? A little over 3 years.
Has your wife always known about your bisexuality? Not exactly. I did tell her about a few frat house episodes, but never admitted to full-on bisexuality. She believes those days are long-gone.
How did you tell her? Before I asked her to marry me, I told her I wanted her to be fully aware of what she was getting into with me, so I just flat-out told her everything – all the women, and some of the men.
How often would you estimate you have sex outside your relationship with your wife? About 15 times.
Is the sex outside the marriage only with men or other women too? Only with men. My wife is the only woman with whom I sleep.
Do you think your wife suspects? I don’t think she has any idea.
What would you say to people who think there are no truly bisexual people? That they have no idea what it’s like to be attracted to both genders. I’ve always found both men and women attractive. I now find both genders sexually desirable. My ex-boyfriend finally told his mother and sister that he’s bi and they think bisexuality is just a stop on the train ride to Gaytown. They couldn’t be more wrong, IMO!
If the situation were reversed and you were in a relationship with a man, do you think you would sleep with women on the side? I don’t know. I’ve thought about it and if I were to commit to a relationship with a man, we would be perceived as a gay couple, and I think I would want to honor that perception. But the reality is that I would probably sleep with women on the side.
I’d like to say I’m not proud of cheating with men. It’s that there’s no good societally-acceptable way for bisexuals to exist. I try to minimize it, but sometimes the need for intimacy with a man is just overpowering and I succumb to temptation.
I’m keen to hear your thoughts on this guys.
Over the last couple of months I’ve noticed a certain train of thought….
That I should just come out and annouce my homosexuality.
Thing is… I’m not homosexual. I’m not hetrosexual either. I am a bit of both – hence the word bisexuality.
Bisexuality is a sexual orientation which refers to the romantic and/or sexual attraction of individuals to others of both genders (socially) or sexes (biologically). Most bisexuals are not equally attracted to men and women and may even shift between states of finding either gender or sex exclusively attractive over the course of time.However, some bisexuals are and remain fairly static in their level of attraction throughout their adult life.
Although observed in a variety of forms in human societies and in the animal kingdom throughout recorded history, the term bisexuality (like the terms hetero- and homosexuality) was only coined in the 19th century.
Perhaps it is because of my nomadic existence these days but I comfortable being ‘in the closet’ to some of my friends and family while in different circles I’m more than happy to be known as someone who is very open minded.
Unfortunately, not everyone that I know is open minded enuf to understand that. And I’m not on a crusade to change peoples minds so what they don’t know doesn’t hurt them. I’m sure there are hypothetical scenarios which would cause a conflict of where I would step up and show my true colours (as has happened to Aaron) but that hasn’t happened yet and if it does I’ll deal with it then.
If you guys sound interested then I would like to discuss this more over the coming weeks (leave a comment if you are). Two great bloggers Aaron (in Montreal) and Matt (in LA) have both written about their ‘coming out’ and ‘not coming’ out experiences over the last couple of days. They both have completely difference experiences and although my reaction has been different I don’t think any of us are wrong – just different.
And if there are any girls who are going to be in Queenstown who want to test out my bisexuality then count me in – haha.
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