A week or so ago I was riding my bike and I scratched myself – I don’t even know how I did it and it isn’t a big deal.
The scratch was nothing BUT over the last week it has gotten worse and has been oozing a little bit. Nothing to get my speedos in a bunch about but I thought I’d go to the doctors and find out why it hasn’t gotten better.
I’m $226 poorer for it.
The local medical clinic was just the same as any other medical place I’ve been to in Australia, stock full of female staff and everyone was nice and friendly. They took all my paperwork and just like in Australia – I sat in the waiting room for 45 minutes.
During the 45 minutes of relaxation in a room full of sneezing sick kids and crying babies I had the opportunity to fill in my 10 page Questionnaire – mostly usual stuff as I’ve had no major illness, no allergies, I haven’t broken any bones and my biggest operation was when I was a few months old getting 3 stitches in my right eye brow after I base jumped off my baby table…. I still have the scar.
There was a part of the 10 page questionnaire I didn’t like. It asked if I smoke and how much. I don’t smoke and never have. Then it asked if I ‘take’ caffeine products and how much. I drink coffee and I drink Jack Daniels and Coke so I answered Yes & LOTS. Next question was if I drink alcohol and how much. Same as above, yes and LOTS.
Those questions were a little off putting but I pushed on. Then I got some sexual questions…..
1. Are you sexually active?
2. How often?
3. How many sexual partners have you had?
Turns out the cut on my leg was just infected, my tetanus shot was a year out of date, they boosted it and 3 days later (as I write this post) the scratch has all but gone – there won’t even be a scar.
BUT…. this blog post has moved on from the scratch on my leg to a questionnaire asking me how many sexual partners I’ve had.
This is all within a week or so of you guys scolding me for calling my QANTAS flight attendant a ‘fairy’. Instead of being a smart arse, I just crossed out these questions – I told you I read all your comments and some of them stick.
If I hadn’t just had a lashing from my blog readers for my social insensitivity’s and my lack of political correctness I would have responded…..
1. Are you sexually active? ……. Sometimes
2. How often? …….Not often enuf
3. How many sexual partners have you had? ……. 84.5 (the .5 is because I shared Bruce with his wife, so he only counts as a half)
Since you guys gagged me, I’d love to hear how you would have answered these questions?
5 Comments
Fred
I never had to think about it, because here in Germany you don’t find that kind of questions in a questionaire. They would be considered privacy violations.
A physician will ask those questions in a personal conversation, if there is a valid reason to assume a sexually transmitted disease.
Maybe you should consider this as another example of the sometimes rather peculiar idea of “freedom” in the USA . . .
Dr. Phil
Actually, had you answered those questions in the way you jokingly said you would have, it would have been honest, right? (And perhaps have even brought a smile to the face of the data entry person who got your file.) None of what you may have written is politically incorrect, insensitive, or culturally loaded. And because the only person who could possibly be “made fun of” in your comments is you, which makes it a whole different thing.
(If I said to a waitress “Can I ask you for another beer? I know, I am a dirtbag, but I really want one,” that would be self-deprecating and perhaps amusing to her; if I said to the guy ordering a beer at the next booth “Wow, you’re a dirtbag!” that would be rude and offensive; and if I said to the waitress who just took an order for another beer from the guy at the next booth, “Wow, he’s a dirtbag!” that would be inappropriate and also rude.)
As for those questions on the intake survey: they are there so they can get as accurate a sense of your own health situation as possible. They fit the data in them into an algorithm that would rule out and rule in certain situations given your particular symptomology, etc. (If you’re sexually active, it could make the difference between a diagnosis like “urinary tract infection” and “gonorrhea,” which I think you’d agree is a big difference!) They don’t ask those things to “be personal” or to “pry,” it is so they can provide the best information to you and to themselves as possible in assessing what is ailing you and how they might best be able to assist you to get better.
In any case, I’m glad to hear that the cut healed with not too much difficulty (besides the $226, which is actually somewhat reasonable for the U.S. healthcare system, but still sucks, certainly…).
Pete25
I have never had those questions posed to me when I went to a new physician and I think I would have been as incensed as you were. If when the physician sees you he feels he needs the answer to that type of question then that is his time to ask especially as the problem was not related to that part of your anatomy.
Agree with Dr. Phil that your healing quickly is a good thing.
dd-bos
I’m not as witty as you, Dave, so my answers wouldn’t have nearly been as comical as yours were. I’d have been too embarrassed to answer them honestly, and likely would have lied or toned the answers down to something that wouldn’t have raised too many eyebrows at the hospital.
But I’m also not as callous as you, and using the word “fairy” to refer to or address another gay man is equivalent to calling him a “faggot” in my book, and shows nothing but disrespect. I know you got a lot of crap for that post, some deserved and some over the top. But I don’t recall actually ever seeing an outright apology or an acceptance that what you said was uncalled for. I’ve been reading your blog for years, and I’ve got to admit, I lost a bit of respect for you on that one. Maybe it’s a cultural difference between Americans and Aussies, but we’re fighting for equality here in the U.S., and a gay or bi man addressing another gay man in such a fashion is a step in the wrong direction, whether in jest or otherwise. This invites others, straight, bi or otherwise, to use hurtful language because when they hear others (especially within the gay community) use it, it is inadvertently deemed acceptable when it is not. I’ll continue to read your blog, because I believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt and offering second chances. But please don’t do it again.
Hungspeedoguy
Better than my sexual health checkup experience in Thailand!
http://www.becomeavagabond.com/sexual-health-check-in-thailand/