You guys know my position on condom use – I choose to use condoms and if you don’t then we aren’t going to fuck.
There are two couples that I’ve played with who really didn’t want me to use a condom – I was polite as I could be in saying that I was pretty serious about condom use. In the end these couples agreed that it was fine (this was well before the fact – not when we were all naked in the living room).
I’m starting to sound like Reverend Wright – preaching. I’ll stop now.
Anyways – back to the idea of this post.
Imagine if all the major brands started selling their own condoms and kept their original tag-lines.
- Sainsbury condoms – making life taste better
- Tesco Condoms – every little helps
- Nike Condoms – Just do it
- Peugeot Condoms – The ride of your life
- KFC Condoms – Finger Licking good
- Minstrels Condoms – melt in your mouth, not in your hand
- Safeway Condoms – Lightening the load
- Abbey National Condoms – because life is complicated enough
- Coca Cola Condoms – The real thing
- Ever Ready Condoms – keep going and going
- Pringles Condoms – once you pop, you can’t stop
- Burger King Condoms – Home of the Whopper
- Goodyear Condoms – “for a longer ride, go wide”
- Muller light condoms – so much pleasure, but where’s the pain?
- Flash Condoms – Just sit back, relax and let flash do all the hard work
- Halford Condoms – we go the extra mile
- Royal Mail Condoms – I saw this and thought of you
- Andrex Condoms – Soft, strong and very very long
- Renault Condoms – size really does matter!
- Domestos Condoms – gets right in the rim
- Heineken Condoms -reaches parts that other condoms just cannot reach
- Carlsberg Condoms – probably the best condom in the world
- Pepperami Condoms – its a bit of an animal
- Polo Condoms – the condom with the hole!! (VERY poor seller !!)
- McDonalds Condoms – I’m Lovin’ it!
“if you don’t then we aren’t going to fuck” lol.
here’s one:
Lucky Charms Condom: They’re magically delicious
Glad you stuck your guns…
Sam,
No condom no fuck – but I’ve never used a condom when giving or receiving oral sex.
Dave
You guys wouldn’t believe it but I was just talking on MSN to a good friend of mine who is in Thailand for 3 weeks (just touristy stuff and some scuba diving). He is str8.
Last night he picked up an Irish Backpacker and they had a shag in the ocean. After some nude swimming of course – I asked him where did he hide his condom when he was nude swimming?
He said he didn’t use one.
I’m disappointed to say the least.
Dave
While I certainly wish that sexual health and protection matters were taken as seriously as possible in general society, and that people wouldn’t be afraid to buy condoms (they’re one of the most often stolen items from most stores), and they were so widely and easily available that all of those places listed above did stock them…I’d have to say, I wouldn’t want a McDonald’s condom, or to buy one on the rare and desperate occasions where I patronize those places…
But anyway, this was a nice, light-hearted, silly post, so thank you for that! (Though it could use a photo or two…!)
I completely understood that i’m not an idiot, lol, I just thought it was funny the way you wrote it. Good job.
p.s. so no one’s used their mouth to put a condom on your cock? first for everything I guess.
hehehe
it was very funny, I enjoyed it very much
Andrew Europe
I am with Dave here all the way…
It is cool to be flexible, and try to meet other people’s wishes and expectations. As they say, it always takes two (or more) to tango.
Yet, there are few things that I would never even vaguely start to negotiate about. Condom use is at the very top of my list.
No condom = No sex = No way…
SC